But For the Grace of Bot

BEEEPBOOPBRRRRRRRWHRRRRRRRR

DEAR EARTH PEOPLE,

WE ARE A RACE OF ROBOTS FROM THE PLANET 287X. WE HAVE BEEN SENT BY XUAL'DAR THE OMNISCIENT TO BRING YOU TO PARADISE. WE COME IN PEACE AND APOLOGIZE FOR STOMPING ON YOUR GARDEN. WE ARE VERY BIG AND MAY NOT SEE IT.

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU HUMANS WHO WISH TO BE SAVED PURCHASE THIS SHIRT. IT IS CALLED TECHNOPHILIA, AND IT IS SOLD AT YOUR EARTHWEB STORE CALLED DESIGN BY HUMANS. IT FEATURES A SHINY, BEAUTIFULLY RENDERED VERSION OF OUR SELVES. YOU CAN SEE FROM THE IMAGE THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR. LOOK HOW HAPPY YOUR STUP--- YOUR BROTHER IN ARMS IS. HE IS ABOUT TO CROSS OVER. BUY THIS SACRED IMAGE AND WEAR IT. WE WILL THEN KNOW YOU WISH TO BE SAVED.

FOR THE THRIFTY AMONG YOU EARTH SHOPPERS, YOU MAY PURCHASE THIS FOR THE NEXT 24 EARTH-HOURS FOR ONLY $15. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH EARTH DOLLARS FOR THIS SHIRT, YOU CAN GET 10% OFF THIS, OR ANY PURCHASE AT THIS STORE, WITH THE ENTRY CODE "4VUY42" UNTIL SEPTEMBER'S THIRTIETH DAY. DO NOT DELAY!

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